she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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