My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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