Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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