So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize