please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
