She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize