i may or may not be watching the land before time
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
