The best revenge is premature balding
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
