I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
