any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
