Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
