Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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