and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
