I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
