If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
