dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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