Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
