I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
In other news, I just burned my penis
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
