If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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