Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
