the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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