Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
