Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
do herpes really smell.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
