Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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