u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
