Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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