not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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