I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize