I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
