he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize