and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
