Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
