I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
