New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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