Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
