I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I stole a fireplace last night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
