Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
