i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize