What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
