Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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