So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
