how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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