i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it hurts more in the daytime
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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