just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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