Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
