i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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