lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
