What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If its not for food we ain't going out.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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