I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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