Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
