is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
