Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
