i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
