If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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