Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
