becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
