the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
