You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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