So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
