Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
