I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
third nipple confirmed
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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